Da Nose Hair

No doubt like most men my age there is a tendency for hairs to grow where they're not wanted, as well as hairs not to grow where they are wanted.
Last year I had a lot of trouble with my dear peerie trowie trying to remove a rather unsightly hair from the point of my nose with either fingers nails or tweezers.
This little verse was the result of those encounters.

Da Nose Hair

Just a peerie black craetir,
Staandin firmly on his ain,
He’s never buddered me afore,
Ir geen me ony pain.

Bit fir reasons dat I canna say,
Her indoors dusna laek da geezer,
An tries ta tweak da beggar oot,
Wi fingers nails ir tweezers.

Why ta hell it budders her,
Da Loard alone just knows,
It’s just a peerie curly hair,
Dat grows oot o me nose.


Auld Rasmie

Da Tinkin Shair

Inspiration for this little ditty was the wife. And her very comfortable connection with her favourite chair.

Da Tinkin Shair

Maest every hoos böst hae een,
a peaceful saaft auld shair,
whaur you can sit an winder on
your life an aa hit’s cares.

Da een atil wir hoos
reclines an geengs near flat.
Bit da wife haes life lang tenure,
hit’s whaur shö’s elweys sat.

Sometimes fae dat shair
I hear a peerie snorie soond,
bit if I mention sleepin,
Shö’ll whirl her heed around.

An tell me in a wye I ken
dat I söd no dispute,
Dat shö wis only tinkin,,,,
Aboot sleepin, I hae nae doot.

Auld Rasmie