Monday, August 9, 2010

Beans Means Wind

This little verse was inspired by the reaction of my wife to the serious problems that baked beans cause to my intestinal tract. And, yes, I have to admit that everything in this poem actually happened.
I have signed the pledge now, haven't eaten a baked bean for almost 8 months now, and that's not surprising when you consider that Heinz baked beans, which are the only ones worth eating, cost nearly £2 a tin in Norway.

Beans Means Wind

A wind can blaw fae mony earts,
trow muddows, hills, an idder pairts.
Bit elweys i da life o man,
da warst wind comes oot o a can.

Heinz baked beans da label sed,
I hed some dan I guid ta bed.
Da duvet cudna had da breeze,
an shön wis blawn aboot me knees.

Da idder half took flight at wance,
da stink near hed her in a trance,
runnin fae da gaseous mass,
risin fae me rotten ****.

So left aleen i bed ta winder,
why me drawers wir riven sinder,
a'm signed da pledge, "Heinz Nae Mair",
lat wis aa hae fresher air.

Auld Rasmie

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